A man is walking down the street, slightly intoxicated, just having left a party. He is heading towards his home. He sees an old friend; they stop and make small talk. Suddenly the old friend says, “Hand me your wallet”. The man is shocked because he knows this person and is confused why he would suddenly behave in such a demanding manner. He says “No”, but the old friend is taller and heavier and appears to mean business. The old friend does not have a gun or knife, yet the man is frightened. He protests but does not fight or scream because he is so frightened. He is unable to escape the situation. The old friend takes his wallet and runs off. A crime has just been committed. The police have no problem arresting the old friend for stealing. After all, he did not have the man’s consent to take the wallet. No one questions if the crime is due to the man’s slight intoxication. No one questions if the man should have fought and screamed. No one questions if a crime has been committed.

Then, later that night,

A woman is walking down the street, slightly intoxicated, just having left the same party. She is heading towards her home. She sees an old male friend; they stop and make small talk. Suddenly the man says, “I want to have sex with you.” The woman is shocked because she knows this person and is confused why he would suddenly behave in such a demanding manner. She says “No”, but the man is taller and heavier and appears to mean business. The man does not have a gun or knife, yet the woman is frightened. She protests but does not fight or scream because she is so frightened. She is unable to escape the situation. The man sexually assaults her and runs off. A crime has just been committed. The police do nothing even though the man did not have the woman’s consent to take liberties with her body. Everyone asserts that the crime is due to the woman’s slight intoxication. Everyone questions why the woman did not fight and scream. Everyone questions if a crime has been committed. Why?

We do not talk openly about rape because the very idea of a man forcing himself onto a woman is revolting. The only rapes that seem to be prosecuted are the ones where a stranger breaks into a house or a woman is found dead and raped in a field. When "acquaintance rapes" occur, people assume that the woman must have done something to cause it to happen. These people are confusing rape with sex; that false assumption is the way they ease their conscience when they choose not to hold the man accountable and responsible for his actions. No other crime is handled this way. No other crime victims are treated this way.